fuck and talk and fight again

The last couple of days have been good for me. I have made no secret that I think polyamory is bullshit. I get what Daddy gets out of it but for me, not seeing why on earth I would agree to splitting one man's time and attention. I don't have to. A while back, he gave me the lay of the land and told me about his entanglements. It wasn't as bad as I had imagined, frankly I thought he was more of a mimbo than he is.

Over the last week I have had his phone. I snooped, read a text message from a woman named Mia...filled with "love you love you love you....great seeing you last week, craving you, kissing your hands" and the like. The love yous went both ways, and she was NOT one of the entanglements he had discussed with me. I was thinking he is not taking care of his current responsibilities and is now out creating a new relationship which will further suck his time and resources. How does this man get anything done with all of the sluts he juggles? I wished I hadn't read that as you cannot un-ring a bell. I am usually not a snoop but come on, how could you not??

Thursday when he was over, he told me that since he had met me he had only slept with me and The One I Don't Like. I paused as I didn't want to bring up this Mia thing. I wasn't proud of myself for snooping. I eventually confessed and he busted out laughing. He hasn't slept with her. She is someone he has been talking to for two years and she was a Domme. For some reason, she decided she would submit to him. According to him, she is bananas. His explanation made sense. He went further to tell me about other long term relationships he maintains. Friday he corrected himself and told me he had in fact slept with one of his other subs in the beginning of our relationship, one he had already told me about.

The more Daddy opens up to me and is forthcoming with details the happier I become. I can actually handle this. I can appreciate that it takes a good deal of trust to tell me these things. If we are to be true partners I think I require this level of disclosure. I know he is my Owner and owes me no explanation, but I really treasure that he cares enough to give me one. He pointed out I have had far more lovers than he since we met.

Something is changing with both of us. I don't think I can articulate what that is right now but I can say it is for the better. He's gone this week and I have a full dance card. I bought some new latex yesterday, I will post pics after next weekend as I don't want to spoil the surprise for Daddy. I am going to post a new Collarme profile this weekend identifying as a Domme. I really want this girlfriend thing to get rolling and I am not getting ANY nibbles on my current profiles. Daddy said he was waiting for me to come to the conclusion that I am a Domme with women. He knew but wanted me to see myself as that. Scab and heal and bleed again...I find this song is quite apt for the current situation.