words

Maybe I am just a freak but to me, words matter. Daddy is a skilled wordsmith and that is just one of the things that appeals to me about him. So sluts, let me ask you a question...am I just fucked in the head because I HATE it when he uses trite short hand to talk to me?

In earlier posts I have talked about my desire to have an authentic relationship with him within this poly construct. I have told him before that I really don't care for it when he sends me what I consider to be carbon copy statements that flow with such ease it is obvious that he says these things to everyone. For example, "craving you," "Kissing your head," "rubbing your nipples..." You get the idea. Is it wrong I seek to find a unique way for us to interact? Something that is special between the two of us? He didn't like it when I asked him not to say these things to me anymore. He accused me of being drunk for expressing my wishes. I wasn't, I just hate it.

It is also like saying, "I love you." For me, those words flowed too easily and soon in this relationship. Those are powerful words that I think should be earned. Early on we discussed this and I know that the easier love is to give, the easier it is to take away. There needs to be a foundation built for me before I say these things. Additionally, care should be used when saying them. I have been in long lasting relationships in the past where "I love you" becomes a substitute for conversation and thrown around without any thought. I vowed I would never find myself in that situation again. When I say it, I mean it.

I just don't want out relationship to become like an Andy Warhol painting. Any creativity, uniqueness, originality stamped out and our relationship indistinguishable from the many he has had before. Perhaps others are happy lapping up these platitudes, but I expect more. Perhaps how I told him was a mistake, but I think I should have told him. Guess that is what you get when you are with a communication theory major.