top chops

Daddy wanted to come over tonight. I am just not up to it. The residual shit from the massive panic attacks have left me barfing, headachy and genuinely not fit for public consumption. I am hoping tomorrow is a better day.

He has backed out of our flesh pile I had set up for Saturday night after our fight. He's not feeling it, or me at the moment. My old Dom Doc and his delicious sub Kat (that I CANNOT wait to get my hands on!!) Daddy is insisting I still go. Been planning our attack on Kat tonight. It will be incredibly fun. She and I have this raw connection sexually, but I actually REALLY like her too. So important to me with someone I am fucking. She is texting me, the feeling is mutual. Have I mentioned she is the best kisser ever?

I am disappointed Daddy isn't going but his choice. I really don't know how many submissives set up orgies...maybe it is more common that I would have thought. In any event, I will be honing my "top chops" on Kat. We will be taking her shopping as she is totally vanilla. She doesn't have appropriate clothing for the clubs. Where we go next is still under debate. The Lair, Bar Sin....Passive Arts. Not sure. We got a hotel.

Daddy sent me this video last night. Beautiful lyrics that speak to me, "the things that you lose, you never have found," and "the deeper you dive the greater than heights." He could not move a business thing tomorrow night, I have another bday dinner Friday and then my 3some Saturday. I won't see him until Sunday. Another week passing without seeing him. FANFUCKINGTASTIC! We all know how well I do on my own. Good thing I feel like a total bucket of fuck or I would be really upset.

Daddy said tonight he is pissed I am doing this Saturday with Doc. I said I wouldn't go if I could see him. He is pissed as it is Doc and not him. There is always next Saturday...