That familiar wave of sick washed over me today when I was confronted with something I really didn't want to see. Daddy is a polygamist, I knew this going in and was cause for MAJOR concern for me entering into this relationship. I was looking for a Clyde to my Bonnie.....a partner in crime with whom I can share the most intimate of relationships. Sharing my Dom physically with others has never been an issue with me but this is different. He develops emotional connections and long-term partners. This has been a huge hurdle for me to overcome. So today, Daddy and I make plans to go to an erotic art showing this Saturday together....then he drops the bomb. He is inviting another one of his submissives to join us. Knowing this is occurring on an intellectual level is one thing but when he sent me her pictures the reality of my situation came down on me like a ton of bricks. I started shaking and broke out in a cold sweat. In the picture, she is wearing a collar (I don't have one of those,) latex....doing things that I know Daddy finds erotic. I wanted to cry. We talked and I told him my thoughts, I am not unique nor special and this cannot go anywhere. It cheapens the experiences I have had with him because they are not organic or specific to me. The visual documentation saddened me. He reassured me that this was his way of further integrating me into his life. He is sharing with me and I am becoming more deeply woven into his life. That he would entrust me with this is a sign he is pleased with me, and in some ways (sic) I am already primary in his heart yet I see it in a negative and opposite fashion. I can't help but wonder if he is saying the same to her. I am trying to adapt with equanimity but some things are harder to swallow than others. Today was a toughie for the girl here.
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