I wake up alone

Saturday night I had a date with Daddy. To be honest, I was somewhat dreading it as I got hammered Friday night and smoked a bunch of cigs. I was not looking forward to "the talk" that was sure to occur.

Doc was in town and took me to lunch. It was nice to be comforted by him. He has been in a polyamorous relationship before and doesn't think they work well. Doc doesn't think I am cut out for this. Maybe he is right...I'm trying to remind myself that Rome wasn't built in a day, but surely fell in one.

I got my hair done and wriggled into my new latex dress and stripper shoes that I bought for Daddy's Christmas present. I opened the door to him, "stand back" was all he said. He turned me around looking me up and down....caressing my body in the latex. "Are you up for dinner?" were the next words out of his mouth, I grabbed my jacket and we left.

The drive was long and silent. I was afraid to talk. He did not look at me once in the car. We parked, "don't hit the door on the curb" was all he said as I exited. He came around and took my hand and held me as we walked. I was wearing 6' platforms after all.

At dinner, a group of men in the restaurant commented to one another there were a lot of strip clubs in the area when they saw me enter. This broke the ice and Daddy loved my humiliation at being mistaken for a stripper. We had a lovely Japanese dinner, beautiful bite-sized packages of food. The mood lightened and we talked and laughed.

After dinner we went to Passive Arts, a BDSM club by LAX. It was early and the club was pretty empty initially. We walked around and eventually ended up in the dungeon room. I was slapped then punched in the stomach. Daddy grabbed me by the hair and growled, "I will make your submission a living hell for you. There will be no more willful disobedience. My touch can be loving or brutal, it is up to you." I was then positioned to be beaten with the belt.....I can readily handle the blows to my ass but the ones to my pussy and inner thighs are much more difficult. I did some defensive posturing which didn't go over very well. Afterward, he reminded me that I am owned and will never be alone again. I have no more choices. My life is in his hands alone.

The rest of the evening we walked around, talked to people we knew. Watched some shows. We came him early so he could use his fucktoy. He fucked me hard and the intensity was there as it is with us. We both fell asleep, his lips on my head facing one another. It was lovely. He woke me in the night for another round and then left.

I didn't hear much from him yesterday. I went to International Playboy's house for breakfast. A text here and there from Daddy. A call at 10:30 when I had be long asleep.

Today I think I am experiencing a bit of sub drop. I am sad for no real reason. My skin aches.....I'm itchy and antsy. This is Christmas week and I have no idea when I am going to see him. I am not part of his family so I will be spending the holiday alone. This is also the first year I am not going home for Christmas and I think it is impacting me more than I care to let on. Alone again seems to be the theme for me. I want to settle into my service but right now all I see is isolation. I'm not sure how to reconcile these things in my head.