A Wasted Week

I have been beyond sick. I have pneumonia and have basically been flat on my back all week long. The pain was unbearable, felt as if I had an ice pick stabbing me in my lungs. I am still unwell, but am much much better than I was even yesterday.

Daddy came by Thursday and brought me flowers, juices, fruits and Kleenex. He stayed for an hour and rubbed my back. He is sick too now.....hope he didn't catch it from me.

In the meantime, I hate wasting the precious little time I get with him by being sick. We had such a lovely weekend last weekend and it is unlikely either one of us will be up for anything in the next couple of days. Boo.

I have often said you never feel as alone as you do when you are sick. Even though Daddy just lives over the hill, it can take an hour to get to my place. I had to pretty much fend for myself through this pneumonia. I actually burst into tears at the grocery store buying some ice cream. I get pretty emo when I have a fever.

I hate my apartment, I've been here seven years and really need more space. I work from home now too so this tiny one bedroom is becoming much like a prison. Yesterday, I went into the office of my apartment building and asked if they had any apartments closer to where Daddy lives. They do, a 2 bedroom is going for $1900. I cannot afford that. Again, I came back into my little shit hole apartment and began to absolutely ball. I feel trapped and alone and really see no way out of this situation.

Like many people, I am making less than half of what I was two years ago. I just wish one part of my life would straighten out. Daddy said at some point he will take over my finances and we will get all of this stuff straightened out. I did get a commission check last month which really helped me catch up on some bills. Hopefully, I will get another this month or I am royally screwed. Never in my lifetime have I ever been this poor or lived this close to the edge. It is scary.