showing my pink underbelly

Daddy said something very interesting to me recently. The more we intertwine, the more conflicted he becomes controlling the vicious sadist that we know lies within and the desire to be incredibly tender to me. I must say, I share the same dilemma.

We have a sick connection...and by that I do not mean the conventional mentally ill type deal rather rap lyrics, off the chain, incredibly soul feeding/sucking; we have a wild mad connection. The intensity is scary. The fact we have just begun to scratch the surface exploring our shared dark side and have reached this fevered pitch leaves me at a loss for words.

We went to my company Christmas party today and I had a hard time introducing him to my co-workers. This is D-D-D..er (insert his real name here______) I know most subs get what I am saying regarding having to refer to their Master by name. I never do it. I choke up on it and it feels unnatural and wrong. Daddy suffered through a mostly boring brunch and managed to charm my work family. They like him. Daddy got to see me in a different light as well, with people that love and respect me. Way different setting that we are accustomed to.

We drove home and I just felt good. There were no awkward silences, or weird moments. I enjoyed the quiet comfort of being together. We click. He is so controlled, I made fun of him for having his hands at ten and two...he obviously paid attention in driver's ed (conversely, I steer with my knee while smoking a cig, chugging a latte, taking notes and talking on the phone.)

Upon arrival at my place, the mood changed. He loves that I objectify myself by wearing revealing outfits, having bleached blond hair, wear stilettos and have stripper pink and white nails. I tend to sexualize every conversation I have and he saw it in action today. He sees me for the born whore that I am and I am beginning to see myself in that way too.

I stripped down and we got under the covers. When he sticks his cock inside me it is like I am a computer and you hit CTL ALT DEL. I am reset. While using his holes he tells me how much he enjoys watching me being the trashy fuckhole I was intended to be. He gets me and I extend my neck to him. The only thing I have of value to offer Daddy is my life. It is his. He stopped fucking me and took his belt off of his pants and slipped it around my neck. He pulled taught on the belt and I struggled for breath as he fucked me hard. I struggled for air while constantly gazing in his eyes. I felt myself blacking out..."I'm going. Oh please Daddy!" Everything started to fade..it is a very odd sensation. All I could focus on was his eyes. I started to cum through the hazy darkness.

He's gone and I am reflecting. When I uttered the words, "oh please Daddy!" was I begging him to stop or begging him to go? I cannot imagine a better way to end things, my neck a gift of my life. My last vision his eyes. My last sensation his lips gently touching mine. Oh PLEASE Daddy.