Tuesday, February 16, 2010

hello Xanax! my secret lover

Pretty happy now due to pharmaceuticals.I don't often take the pills lately but they re-set my hard drive. I get right. Dammit! I hate my brain is short circuiting! Have a bunch of messed up financial stuff going on, these panic attacks are wicked bad.

Daddy gets I am fucked up. So, we talk (bad idea for the whore!) I am so ok with our situation I sent The One I Don't Like an email, asking her to lunch. I know I have to make that part of the relationship work. Everything I do now is for us. I am working harder as I know that is the only way we will meet our common goals. I think about every bite of food I put in my mouth and if he would approve or not. I do as told. I want this relationship more than I have wanted anything in my life. His situation with the two other women really fucks me but I am willing to do more than my share to make this work. It should not be this hard for me.

I'm not expecting him to agree with me. He loves The One I Don't Like and has history with her. I hope to come to see her through his eyes. I don't like the discord and would prefer to be perfectly aligned with him. I love him so much it is physically painful for me at times.

No comments:

Post a Comment