Panic Attacks

Yet another ABM (ass burn Monday) made worse (if possible) by having our annual planning report due and company state of the union meeting Wednesday (last year, my pay was cut, my comission re-structured, my insurance changed to a shitty HMO that I now pay for. These meetings are usually not favorable.) The good news hasn't stopped yet this morning and I have already had a panic attack by ten. Daddy talked me down but I am still really shaking and scrambled. I haven't been able to focus at all and this report isn't going anywhere......

Daddy told me his goal this year was that he would be able to take care of me. I am finding solace in being owned and know whatever happens I will be ok. The fact that I am not alone anymore hasn't really sunk in, but it starting to.

I spent Saturday with Daddy and he stayed over (yay! I actually got to wake up to him!!!) We did make it out of my apartment for dinner. When we are together, I don't care to do anything but just BE together. We cuddle and talk and fuck....I saw a couple of spreader bars peeking out of his bag of tricks. We didn't ever get to those. Just fucking and sleeping curled up together. Perfection. Wake up to a round of ass fucking. I could get used to that.

We have been making other plans as well. I may move closer to him. We are thinking about me making some extra money by doing some escort work. Additionally, I am looking for a girlfriend. Daddy thinks I am ready to meet The Others now. I think I am too. He is going to plan a dinner for me to meet them. He has a lot of plans for me, this is only the beginning. I am being integrated in his life and it feels really good.

As horrible as I am feeling today, I try to come back to my service for comfort. I pump and am plugged. Did an enema. I tried doing homework last night but my puter is jacked. I will do homework today (I think fixed the immediate prob last night.) I'm powering down my nicotine lozenges like they are going out of style. I trust that whatever happens Wednesday, Daddy will be there for me. In the meantime, I obey. Now back to my stupid report.